It's little vent time !
I'm quiet again haaa...
I'm a situation where I'm finally realising how my life is crumbling around me and I don't knwo what to do, I feel helpless.
Everything is too much right now.
I planned that 2020 was the year I finally could start my business and gain some money and have my life less precarious.
I did not realise so many issues until now. Last december I got a diagnosis for some of my mental issues and I did not realise it was a handicap in my life but also that I can't really work a "normal" job.
I'm so precarious that I desparatly need money so I should run and get watever job I can. But it would mean getting more and more sick and burn out and... I don't want to go back there (I'm still in it, it's just less vicious than before)
Getting known on the internet is hard, getting people to want to commission you is hard.
As for my health, for now I also need money to pay for therapy and that not possible right now easer.
I live in a place that got my health worse, I want to move out sooo badly but with my precarious situation, with no money and job, landlords don't want me.
And cherry on top of the cake, my landlord is selling where I live so the next one will possibly kick me out.
So much fun this year !
My family is worried sick, and I too since I don't know what to do anymore. They ask questions to which I don't have answers.
I'm tired. I will keep going, I just want some answers for once, or just that things can unlock a bit.
In that society, when you are poor, sick or both it's so hard to get back up, have a stable life. And I say that while I live in a country that help a bit anyway on some aspect.