MoonE

I do art sometimes - Trying to figure how thing works here - Be patient...

Posts tagged Screaming into the void:

kaa

I've desapeared again from here haaa...
I will come back soon I think ! I've been working a lot on some commissioned works, while still getting drained with moving out (there is still a lot to do in terms of cleaning the place and tidying my stuff) but also with an issue with one of my friend (I think I will talk about it here at some point because this situation is devoring me alive and I need to let it out somewhere...)
I hope you are doing well, you taking time to read :)
Have a lovely day !


kaa

Also, side note

I already said it but I LOVE the fact that I can talk here without having people I know read (for some reason)
It's like some sort of therapy journal for me, with sometimes someone answering me ;w;

I should do some journaling here, but with crappy drawings. That's a cool idea.


kaa

Hello !
It's little vent time !

I'm quiet again haaa...
I'm a situation where I'm finally realising how my life is crumbling around me and I don't knwo what to do, I feel helpless.
Everything is too much right now.

I planned that 2020 was the year I finally could start my business and gain some money and have my life less precarious.
I did not realise so many issues until now. Last december I got a diagnosis for some of my mental issues and I did not realise it was a handicap in my life but also that I can't really work a "normal" job.
I'm so precarious that I desparatly need money so I should run and get watever job I can. But it would mean getting more and more sick and burn out and... I don't want to go back there (I'm still in it, it's just less vicious than before)
Getting known on the internet is hard, getting people to want to commission you is hard.
As for my health, for now I also need money to pay for therapy and that not possible right now easer.
I live in a place that got my health worse, I want to move out sooo badly but with my precarious situation, with no money and job, landlords don't want me.
And cherry on top of the cake, my landlord is selling where I live so the next one will possibly kick me out.
So much fun this year !

My family is worried sick, and I too since I don't know what to do anymore. They ask questions to which I don't have answers.

I'm tired. I will keep going, I just want some answers for once, or just that things can unlock a bit.
In that society, when you are poor, sick or both it's so hard to get back up, have a stable life. And I say that while I live in a country that help a bit anyway on some aspect.


kaa

It's that time again where tendinitis come back to say hi on both of my thumb... So I can't really draw for now (even typing is hard haaa)
I'll try to find some old stuff or skechbook thing to post here.
If you have other cool ideas of what you want to see or what I could do here do not hesitate to tell me, I'm curious :)

On another quick note, this week was really hard to go through.
My bank account went on the red again (thanks past me for still having some savings)
Then we got a pretty hard heatwave where one of my cat got health issues so I had to wait a day to go to the vet in the morning so he won't die in my burning car.
Turns out he had an asthma crisis, something not to strong but with the heat in my appartment, having him cough and seeing him breathing reallyyy hard was a nighmare.
He is ok now, but a crisis can come anytime and it's quite stressing when there is one (But now I have meds to give him so he should be fine ;w;)
Now I have to got groceries shopping but I'm reluctant because it cost money and the vet was not free (though my vet is the best 'cause she always try to make me pay for the least amount, giving me reductions or making some stuff free. I suspect for this time that I did not pay for the meds because she told me "With the Xray you'll have to pay that price" but said nothing about the meds ? Anyway she's great TT-T)


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